How to Prevent Fights over Home Renovation Projects

Oct 24, 2011 No Comments by

In every couple, it seems, there is the one who wants save money on home renovation projects by taking the DIY-approach and the one who wants to pay someone to do the job for them. It doesn’t matter whether the project is installing new windows on the whole house, or simply putting up window treatments.

The reason is simple: Otherness attracts.

“We are drawn to people who compliment us in some fundamental way and unfortunately most couples polarize after the honeymoon is over instead of harmonizing, says Dr. Jennifer Freed, a Santa Barbara, Calif.-based marriage and family counselor. “This simply means that the very things we love initially about the other person (i.e. they are so organized, responsible and efficient) can turn into their dark sides (i.e. they are so controlling, demanding and critical).

When it comes to projects like home renovation, unhealthy couples resort to a win lose scenario where one party emerges as the temporary victor, while the other is seething with resentment, says Freed, while healthy couples take the time to realize that each person has something valuable to offer the situation and they work it out till both people feel honored in the final process.

Freed advises couples going through a home renovation project together to take a step back and slow the process down long enough to write a list of the pros and cons of each idea, and then come up with a plan that incorporates the most productive and cooperative ideas.

“I know two specific couples who are remodeling their houses right now and in both cases the couples work very hard to be inclusive in all decisions, which requires incredible communication and patience,” says Freed. “The result is that they feel excited and appreciative of the process and have mini victories along the way instead of being at odds or fighting their way through it.”

In the final analysis says Freed, collaboration is always a sign of maturity while isolationism and defensiveness are a sure sign of fear and arrested development.

Anyone for relationship remodeling?

Families, Home Improvement

About the author

The author didnt add any Information to his profile yet
No Responses to “How to Prevent Fights over Home Renovation Projects”

Leave a Reply